| confidence built in a long period were suddenly swept away. just few words promised not to speak out, but at the end..... :(
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| mysppw is sleeping next to me right now. feeling something different. speechless
20091209 11:26 |
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看天邊飄過雲海，告訴世界幻變常在，
從來人在月缺下盼月圓。 |
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| i know and i am preapred for getting a totally different life sooner or later. no decision should be made by any other. i know being the one who stop something is very hard. doesnt matter. i know i can stand up soon. no difficulties can challenge me. i know when im able to stand up, everything for me wont be totally different. i think of something very easily and even concentrated without being conscious, but im the one threwing away anything easilhy without any hesitation and without any space for returning. i wont hold anything for my interest and for what im lacking becoz i have firm faith in myself, though harsh. now that the situation is the same as expected. i hv to accept coz no chances r available for me. im not that weird coz sometime im juz a big kid, as u said. never grow up to be a mature person. i can say nothing. juz can say i respect anything that u choose. but once u hv chosen. i wont make anything changed on the decision u make no matter it is either positive or negative. dont know someone will keep seeing something about me. and the probablities r quite low. hope that i wont be asked "how are u" when i see someone in the future. hope that the wounds on u will juz be temporary. though painful, im willing to endure in the long run. lu urssscbb |
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| fluctuations hurt
focus on what i urgently need to do at this moment. for the other things.. um.... better let it be. let the things be my memories. let's be independent
a certain number of difficulities in fulfilling
if embarassment/argument occurs frequently and r offen triggered off by me uncontrollably, ensuring the possibilities of happening is a must. avoidance is a better method jus because i dont trust myself indeed. expressing myself out in a wrong way always seem to be a tool for obtaining something, but rmb it's juz the inabilities of voicing out and juz the outcomes of isolating myself from others
ya, i seem to be very resolute, but actually when im forced to make a decision, i m always incapable. hope time goes faster and i, being so tiny, can disappear from somewhere, someone, whtever
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